The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
