You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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