you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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