Umm I'm too high to move.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
