I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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