yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
