feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
