I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
