i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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