your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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