I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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