It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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