I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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