This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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