I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
babies were throwing up all over the place
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The adults are the big ones right?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
