i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
