I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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