i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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