So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
