It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
