she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
