I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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