We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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