What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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