Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Randomize
