i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
