Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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