you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
