I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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