the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
