i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
