i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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