Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And then he peed in my hair
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
