theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she told me i tasted like america
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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