Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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