So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
