WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
