I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
