VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
