why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
