Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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