when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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