How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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