i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
