I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
