omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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