her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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