Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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