What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
