I met the friendliest cop last night
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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