dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
