Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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