i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
