make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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