You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
