You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
