therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
