"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
