your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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