You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
