It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
