the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm like, not good at living.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
