at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
