How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
