goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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