wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
