You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
