school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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