ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
